Have you ever found yourself going through life in slow-motion? That's about how I feel right now. I know that my impending move to Chicago is coming, so I'm starting to think about how I won't see my friends for a while. Granted, I'll make new ones. But there's nothing wrong with the old ones. But every where I go I seem to walk a few paces behind everyone, taking everything in.
I recently found myself all alone at the pool.
I was lifeguarding at Calvin Center, my job of 8 years. The group left the pool an hour early, so, being hot from sitting in the sun for an hour, I jumped in. I floated around for a while, sunglasses on, lifeguard tube under my shoulders holding up my head; and I just floated. Out of 8 years I have never, ever, had the pool all to myself. So I just took it in. There was no breeze and the air was hot and thick. The water wasn't even that cold, but the silence was a first.
What happens when something is impending on us? I know Chicago is coming, and I am more than excited. I think it will be an amazing challenge, but what if I forget? What if I forget the people and the places? What if I forget the sounds of being on a porch, late at night, in the rain? What if I forget the food? No, scratch that, I think I'll remember the food. But the people. Will I always be grateful to them, or is it just now?
Maybe my "impending" move doesn't scare me, but I scare myself with the realization that I am human and might forget people. I don't want them to think I moved on and forgot about them, because it's so easy to do. But I do have to move on. And I don't have to forget.
I mean, really, who could forget those boys?
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